30 November, 2010

The Birthday Lesson

The Beatles have always had a knack of hitting the right notes as well as strings... of the heart. But I'm not here to talk about them (though if given another chance, I would go on and on about them), ehm, getting back to the topic... only thing being, there's no actual topic in mind..... Hmmm....

Lets see, my birthday just went by and I was sitting there in the dark, 2 a.m in the morning, a glass of vodka in my hand while listening to my favorite songs... and was reminiscing my last birthday, which I spent alone in Bombay... I had planned a lot for my 2009 birthday... I had planned to invite all my friends, go to a nice restaurant, probably spend the day go-karting.... or have an awesome slumber party.... and then, when the day slipped in, none of that happened.

I've gone over it... many times... wondering, why did none of that happen? After so much careful planning and ideas bombarding my head... why didn't any special thing happen on that birthday??

Well, there were quite a number of reasons... most of my close friends had either left the city or else were extremely busy with their lives (except for two of them, the rest were as busy as hell)... then, my closest friend jumped off to a non-reachable place, and to top it all, my family had moved from the west coast of India to the south coast... far, far away from me.... everyone seemed to have moved away... that made me go plummeting into the dumps.. and I felt quite dumpy too when my birthday 2009 dawned - with a slight chill in the air... no freakin' sun or birds also to cheer me up.

The rest of the day felt like dollops of frustration and misery thrust on me... and a feeling of utmost emptiness nestled within me. Nothing anyone said could get me out of that awful mood. My roomie, sweet girl, tried in vain to get me out of our hostel but for once, I remained firm and didn't budge an inch from my bed, except to visit the washroom... and have dinner, which was equally dull. My 2009 Birthday ended with no celebrations.

Zoom now to my 2010 Birthday... it was the total opposite of my 2009 Birthday... I was with family, friends (not all of them but still) there was fun, laughter... plus I have a new friend who shares my Birthday, so double happiness!! Everything was unplanned this time... no big plans or ideas... just times of cherishing special moments that seemed to keep dripping tantalizingly down on me!

What made all the difference? What?

Richard Bach in his book 'Illusions' gave me a perfect answer:

"If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem."

That line is so true... in my 2009 birthday, I had planned so much and had involved so many people into it, that when the time came and no one was there, I just felt so empty. I had put all my happiness into other peoples' hands. While this time around, 2010 Birthday... I let everything just Be. I didn't go scouting around for happiness... it just came to me.

Sigh.... it's as simple as that guys. We keep doing things to make ourselves feel happy - nothing wrong in that, it's just that when you stop trying so hard to get happiness into your life and instead just start Being - it will come to you.

Believe and Be. That's All.

P.S: As for the Beatles, wondering why I started off with that song? Well, it's kinda tied up to what I just said - about trying too hard for happiness. Some people find happiness by believing that money is 'THE' way to achieve happiness.. that's another topic altogether... but anyway, thought of that and this lovely Beatles song just popped up in my brimful brain.

Cheerio folks!

Remember... Believe and Be.

Venice :)


  1. Glad you had a better b'day than last.. And i completely agree with you...sometimes its just better to go with the flow and stop trying too hard. we human beings have the tendency to try too hard to make things perfect..and that's precisely when we fall flat on our faces.However, when we accept things and just let them unfold, the best always comes to us. :) Great post. And a happy belated birthday to you. Hope this year is marvellous and better for you than ever. :)

  2. Touche!! LOVE IT!! And love beatles too! *Here comes the sun*

  3. Thanks Muse... yeah, this birthday was really nice :) Would like it if you keep sharing your views... Have a good time!! Ciao :)

  4. Yayy, feels good to know you love it so much!!! :) Haven't heard 'Here comes the sun'... will do now!

  5. Hey Venice, Would definitely share my thoughts more often :) And you keep the great posts coming in..Tk cr :)

  6. Glass of vodka at 2 am ?? Damn, where did you procure the good stuff from ? Jokes aside, a very nice thought you've put across Veni and in an excellent manner too. However, often this realization comes after the event has occurred like it happened here. It's quite difficult to be unaffected by the influence of others in our life; it does need a special effort.

    Since we're all citing Beatles' songs ... I'll add "Norwegian Wood" here. Quirky little gem, it is!

  7. great read makes me start celebrating all over again

  8. @ Ren: I have my ways of hoarding such enticing stuff ;) Well, most realizations come after something has happened.. We make a mistake, or a choice, or a decision - and we learn from them. And yeah, we, being humans, tend to form relationships and hang on to them... sometimes losing ourselves in this process - thankfully not always!

    Thanks for introducing another Beatles song which I am yet to listen to... See you soon :)

  9. Hi Kang, go ahead celebrate!!! b.t.w, if you don't mind me asking - when is your birthday?

  10. belated happy birthday 1st of all :) and yes, its in the simple yet unplanned things that true happiness can b found. lovely post and Beatles r one of my fav too :D


  11. very zazzy writeup.

  12. ah surely not it's march 28th, and about celebrations the thing is to celebrate everyday not just the day when you found yourself crying on a hospital bed. :)

  13. I'm finally back on blogger!

    I've been keeping up with your posts (without commenting) and they were all beautiful. Enjoyed every poem and writeup. Do keep writing!

    Take care

  14. Hi Sarah, Thank you for your good wish! I have always noticed too that the unplanned things bring much more happiness than the planned ones, probably 'cause our expectations are lesser when we do not plan. And yeah, Beatles are one of my fav bands too! :) Nice having you here... Cya :)

  15. @ Pramod: Zazzy??? How is it zazzy?

    @ Kang: Aaah, Aries, are you? Nice! and yeah, you are kinda right about celebrating everyday and not just our birthday's. It's just that we've been conditioned so much, right from childhood to celebrate our b'day's that it becomes a habit at some point and at times it leads to indifference about the occasion.

  16. Hey Charu!! It's okay if you don't comment... it's good to know that you're reading the posts :) Sadly, I've been running around doing stuff in these last 3 festive months that I haven't read much blogs! Hope to read some interesting stuff once all the festivals are over - for this year :D

    I always love seeing your views about my posts... thanks!! have a super time! :)


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