30 November, 2010

The Birthday Lesson

The Beatles have always had a knack of hitting the right notes as well as strings... of the heart. But I'm not here to talk about them (though if given another chance, I would go on and on about them), ehm, getting back to the topic... only thing being, there's no actual topic in mind..... Hmmm....

Lets see, my birthday just went by and I was sitting there in the dark, 2 a.m in the morning, a glass of vodka in my hand while listening to my favorite songs... and was reminiscing my last birthday, which I spent alone in Bombay... I had planned a lot for my 2009 birthday... I had planned to invite all my friends, go to a nice restaurant, probably spend the day go-karting.... or have an awesome slumber party.... and then, when the day slipped in, none of that happened.

I've gone over it... many times... wondering, why did none of that happen? After so much careful planning and ideas bombarding my head... why didn't any special thing happen on that birthday??

Well, there were quite a number of reasons... most of my close friends had either left the city or else were extremely busy with their lives (except for two of them, the rest were as busy as hell)... then, my closest friend jumped off to a non-reachable place, and to top it all, my family had moved from the west coast of India to the south coast... far, far away from me.... everyone seemed to have moved away... that made me go plummeting into the dumps.. and I felt quite dumpy too when my birthday 2009 dawned - with a slight chill in the air... no freakin' sun or birds also to cheer me up.

The rest of the day felt like dollops of frustration and misery thrust on me... and a feeling of utmost emptiness nestled within me. Nothing anyone said could get me out of that awful mood. My roomie, sweet girl, tried in vain to get me out of our hostel but for once, I remained firm and didn't budge an inch from my bed, except to visit the washroom... and have dinner, which was equally dull. My 2009 Birthday ended with no celebrations.

Zoom now to my 2010 Birthday... it was the total opposite of my 2009 Birthday... I was with family, friends (not all of them but still) there was fun, laughter... plus I have a new friend who shares my Birthday, so double happiness!! Everything was unplanned this time... no big plans or ideas... just times of cherishing special moments that seemed to keep dripping tantalizingly down on me!

What made all the difference? What?

Richard Bach in his book 'Illusions' gave me a perfect answer:

"If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem."

That line is so true... in my 2009 birthday, I had planned so much and had involved so many people into it, that when the time came and no one was there, I just felt so empty. I had put all my happiness into other peoples' hands. While this time around, 2010 Birthday... I let everything just Be. I didn't go scouting around for happiness... it just came to me.

Sigh.... it's as simple as that guys. We keep doing things to make ourselves feel happy - nothing wrong in that, it's just that when you stop trying so hard to get happiness into your life and instead just start Being - it will come to you.

Believe and Be. That's All.

P.S: As for the Beatles, wondering why I started off with that song? Well, it's kinda tied up to what I just said - about trying too hard for happiness. Some people find happiness by believing that money is 'THE' way to achieve happiness.. that's another topic altogether... but anyway, thought of that and this lovely Beatles song just popped up in my brimful brain.

Cheerio folks!

Remember... Believe and Be.

Venice :)

19 November, 2010

Crazy Fools

Crazy fools
Forever denying,
That sweet pure truth
Wrapped up inside.

You care so much,
Yet you hide it.
Afraid to hurt,
Those feelings divine.

For your happiness,
Just for you.
I’ll accept this pain,
Of staying away from you.

If you would only say it,
Once that’s all.
Everything would change,
For me and for you.

Your life is yours,
It’s fine as it is.
I don’t want to mess up,
Your life of bliss.

I may not say a lot,
But I do feel a lot.
My silence controls me,
Oh, why can’t you see?

I’m not sure,
Neither are you.
I would hate to ruin,
Something so precious.

A moment someday,
Will help us utter.
What gives us both,
Pain and pleasure.

Crazy fools
Forever denying,
That sweet pure truth
Wrapped up inside.


01 November, 2010

Poisoned Fruit

She saw it,
Blinking, blinking, blinking.
What was it she wondered,
Thinking, thinking, thinking.

If she could just reach it,
Stretching, stretching, stretching.
It kept escaping her,
Tempting, tempting, tempting.

"This isn't fair" she said,
Screaming, screaming, screaming.
"It belongs to me",
Yearning, yearning, yearning.

"I'll get it one day",
Hoping, hoping, hoping.
Sooner or later she felt,
Praying, praying, praying.

Years passed by,
Waiting, waiting, waiting.
It came to her in disguise,
Amazing, amazing, amazing.

Finally in her grasp,
Gloating, gloating, gloating.
Until her senses it snapped,
Tormenting, tormenting, tormenting.

It swamped her with misery,
Choking, choking, choking.
She lay on the frozen floor,
Numbing, numbing, numbing.

"Leave me alone" she whispered,
Fighting, fighting, fighting.
"I've learnt it all" she said,
Knowing, knowing, knowing.

Stood up on her feet,
Breathing, breathing, breathing.
Confidently stepped forward,
Accepting, accepting, accepting.

Happily she smiled,
Bubbling, bubbling, bubbling.
Still more lessons to be learnt,
Welcoming, welcoming, welcoming.


Venice :)

Photo Courtesy:  http://bit.ly/bw1Lie